Saturday, September 12, 2009

A Jumping Off Point

I'm at a jumping off point. It's dark and I cannot see where I'll land. I could be leaping into a dark forest, but I can't see the trees. I could be springing to my death upon jagged rocks. I could be falling into a pit with no bottom in sight. I could be........

Life has brought me to a place where I can see who I am not, and what I have not become. Funny, one always looks to find out who they are. I found this thinking to be backward a few years ago. I was able to accept that I didn't know who I was, putting an end to a torturous existence. An unanswerable question, it was driving me mad. How can one ever define who they are? Each day we become a different person in some way, shape or form. Our thinking is a little different, our body changes. And we are not our story that lies in our wake. It's interesting to finally be able to detach one self from the words that we thought described us, and made us who we are. At this moment it is easier to accept that I don't know who I am as opposed to trying to be my past or a future that has not yet come.

I don't know what it is that I stand before. And to be honest, I don't care. I have given in to the caring of what is to come. I can only be who I am at this moment, and I can only live in the shoes which I stand in now. With each step I can just be. There is nothing to fear in walking into the dark if you see whatever may come as another chance to become a new person. Who ever would like to set out to become someone and be stuck as that image for the rest of their life? That would be a pretty bleak future, and unfortunately that is what is expected and acceptable to most of humanity. But I find solace in embracing the unknown. It will always be new and interesting to say the least.


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