Saturday, July 23, 2005

Spinning Thoughts

This past week, and I'm sure weeks to come, have been very trying for me. I am becoming increasingly bored with my job. It is in no way fullfilling. Other than filling my bank account, it does absolutely nothing for me. I find myself getting angry to the point of explosion on a daily basis. The only problem is that I've got to supress, I can't just start lashing out on people. It's driving me crazy. Every day to me is like the movie "Groundhog Day". It's the same repetitive bullshit. I wake up, go to work, come home in a bad mode, and prepare for the same shit again the next day. Every day I think to myself "There's got to be something better. Maybe tomorrow I'll find it". And every day there I am doing the same thing as the previous day, thinking the same thoughts, and experiencing the rage inside flare up. I just need to go outside and scream at the top of my lungs until it's all out..........but then what? Let it all build up until I need to go outside and blow once more? Where are the answers? I'm not succeeding at going "inside" to find the answers. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for. What is one to do? This is the most human side of me. The insanity, that is. "Universe, I seek the truth. Give me the truth I need to get by in this life and to make the best of it." I'll do my best to be aware.......other than that, I'm at a loss. Where to go when nothing physical gives you happiness? Where to go when you seek the truth and everything just seems false? Where to go to escape the Human Side of Me?


Blogger Another Point of You... said...

"Where Is The Water?"

My favourite myth is a quaint yet profound story found in the Vishnu Purana (a Hindu text) about a sage - Narada, asking Lord Vishnu to explain to him why people are deluded into living a life of illusion when all along they could be living in Truth, Sacred Time, and in ONEness Awareness...

Lord Vishnu offers to do so, but asks Narada in the meantime to fetch a cup of water.

Narada goes to the nearest house and knocks on the door to ask for the water. A beautiful and attractive young woman opens the door. Narada is completely captivated by her beauty, forgets about his fetching a cup of water for the Lord, forgets that he is an avowed celibate; and he woos and wins her hand.

They live together in a house after getting married and in due course, two beautiful children arrive in successive years. While they are living in contentment, suddenly a flash flood engulfs their neighbourhood and even their home. They have to try to escape as the flood waters rise and the current becomes stronger.

It becomes so strong that first one child, then the other, and finally his wife are swept away by the raging waters. Narada himself is barely able to maintain a precarious hold on a tree and is feeling terribly shocked by the tragedy that has befallen him.

While waiting thus, he hears Lord Vishnu's call asking him, "Where is the cup of water?".

Narada suddenly realizes that he was all the while standing on the firm ground and only a few moments had passed...

Lord Vishnu said, "Now you see how easy it is to fall into Illusion - as easy as going to fetch a cup of water...which itself is just a product of your imagination".

Your Para//el (I//usory) Self : I AM.

ps : So, how is that cup of water coming along?

3:50 AM  

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